There is a constant battle that happens in my house around 12pm everyday. Dylan has just went down for his nap. Tillman is either asleep or getting ready for a nap as well, and I am about to have an hour or maybe if I’m really lucky two to myself. What to do? What to do? Craft? Blog? Internet? Read? Clean? Cook? Sleep? Usually it’s one of the first two, occasionally it’s cooking and cleaning, but almost never is it the last one. Sleep. It’s hard to believe that just a short three months ago I was enjoying a great mid-day slumber. I was so tired throughout my second pregnancy that I decided to share in Dylan’s naptime every day. These days I probably need that nap more than I did then, but when I only have one or two hours of quiet time to myself I feel like I should be doing something productive.
I’m definitely more on a night owl and find it hard to get to bed at a decent time. Most of the time some of the things I didn’t get to do in the afternoon I try to stuff them in somewhere between my husband falling asleep and midnight. This isn’t all that great when morning rolls around, and Tillman’s calling for food at 6am and Dylan’s bouncing around talking about breakfast at 7am. I am able to have one day to sleep in – Saturday. Oh how I love my Saturdays. Felix gets up with the boys, and makes breakfast. I get to sleep in until 9am (those couple hours definitely help), and take a normal person shower…quietly.
Unfortunately, that one Saturday is not enough for me to catch up as I found out recently. I have accepted that operating on less sleep has it’s consequences. I realized this when I was checking my email one afternoon during “me time” and in the subject line I read “binkie sale” looked over to the sender column and it was from Victoria’s Secret. Confused. Did a double take and of course it was “bikini sale.” I’m not sure if it was the mom in me who doesn’t even register the idea of a bikini or it was the exhaustion that prevented me from clear understanding. Maybe the exhausted mom in me that was forming random baby words, since I’m pretty sure a “binkie” is correctly referred to as a pacifier in the business world. These little mishaps occur more frequently now, and finding pepper in the fridge isn’t all that uncommon anymore.
We have developed a loose schedule around here, and I know the sequence of things, but often the timing is off. I’m wondering if this contributes to my loss of sleep as well. I came across this blog which I have come to really like. It’s refreshing, and suggests ways to be the best you. The series they are taking about now is focused on making the most of your mornings. It makes sense, staying up late regardless of what you’re doing “borrows from the quality of the next day,” although it’s not always easy to fix. In an attempt to seize each day, and fix these “mommy brain” frustrations I am looking into myself. I’m trying to figure out what I need and want personally, so that I may be the most effective ‘me’ each day for my husband and for my children, and that may mean going to bed earlier to wake up earlier. Seems easy enough, now if I could just do it!